Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding. Albert Einstein
Do you sometimes feel the judgmental parts of you constantly criticizing, sizing up, dismissing, and diminishing those around you. Outwardly, generally nice… helpful, polite, and funny, while internally not realizing just how much mental space and energy you’re giving those internal judges… being bossy and mean.
However, your judgment of others is an extension of self-judgment, so ingrained, so normal, you don’t even recognize it. You may be insecure with yourself, so you put other people down, or fear those who are different from you, so you judge them just because they are unlike you, or maybe you’re seeking a change in your life, but, in turn, are jealous of the changes you see others are making in their lives. When you catch yourself having a defining thought about someone, step back and use the following tips to help transform those judgments you may have:
Monitor your thoughts and think before you speak.
Think about what you thinking about.
Look for the positive. Judgments are negative.
There is almost always something positive
you can find in someone or something.
Avoid stereotyping. Stereotypes are never, ever good.
They really create a lot of negativity and you
want to avoid being a part of that.
Put the focus on your own life. Don’t worry about what
others are doing or wearing, etc. Think about your own life.
Focus on what you want and go after it. When you’re trying
to avoid your own problems, it’s easy to criticize others. Don’t.
What you don’t see or understand, is that your judgment leads to suffering – your own suffering. It does not touch the person judged; he or she is free of you, your thoughts and your judgments. You cannot change their behavior. Next time remember how it feels to be judged and how it felt the last time you judged someone else. It doesn’t feel good to judge or to be judged so put an end to it… right now.
The act of judgment is an act of pride and because of pride, you refuse to correct course. Judging others is an act of monumental pride – enormous pride, stupendous pride, galling, astonishing, fantastic pride. You’ve looked at the evidence and you’ve made a judgment – it must be right! There couldn’t possibly be any other conclusion to arrive at but the one you’ve chosen, could there? You’re better than that. Think again, I dare you to… understand more and judge less.