Have you already broken your new year’s resolution? Are you good at setting new goals, but can’t seem to hold on to them? As you may have found out, the real problem isn’t setting the goal or resolution, it’s… how to make it stick; make it work… this time. Research studies, year after year, have shown that less than 40 percent of people actually set goals for themselves for the new year, and of that, less than 10 percent are successful, after just three months of trying. The reason for that is you never change your behavior. Changing your behavior involves practice, practice and more practice, in other words… action, on your part. Oh, and not just practice, but having a foundation for which you can stand, while practicing. So now we get to the real reason many goals aren’t achieved as planned… no foundation, beliefs or standards in your life.
Before any goal setting, whether it’s losing weight, stop smoking or drinking, being a better parent, helping others, saving more, spending less or getting organized, you need to apply the instructions for pious living, as a lifestyle, and walk in obedience of it. The only way to do this is to go into training mode, just like an athlete or an honor student. Be accountable to a call higher than yourself; religion, spiritual, God-fearing, prayer, devotion, yoga, etc…..this would be your foundation for which all of your other goals rest. Allow a higher power to be displayed in your life, a trusting power that you will obey, for this will give way for you to put off old habits and replace them with positive actions and habits in obedience to your higher self. Study the 6 changes below. They are the “instead of this, do this” changes... instructions for laying a foundation for change:
- Speaking the truth instead of lying: We’re all members of one body, so when you speak to your neighbor you are essentially speaking to yourself, so at all times, be true.
- Acknowledging your bad habits as soon as possible instead of procrastinating: Walking around with the same ‘to-do’ list each day is a burden, which means you are giving in to your old ways of doing things.
- Working and sharing instead of stealing: Stealing is sinful and a major character flaw, so if you are stealing then stop and begin working… do something useful with your hands… serve others in need; fix a neighbor’s car, serve meals at a senior home, etc.
- Building up others with your words instead of attacking others with your words: Do not let any degrading talk come from your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And, remember when you say kind words, they affect the person you are speaking to or about, you and anyone in earshot of what you say, so words are powerful and should be used to bless others and not attack them.
- Acting with kindness… regardless of how you are treated instead of reacting with bitterness to the wrongdoing of others: Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger. Be kind and compassionate to one another and forgive each other.
- Agape kind of love…giving to others instead of the Ego’s kind of love…”getting for me”: Follow a higher example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love.. don’t give in to the ego.
You must acknowledge something higher than yourself in order to be accountable. Having a foundation set on a system of beliefs, values and standards will give you that foundation of accountability, so, that when you lay out a list of to-dos, new year resolutions or goals, you will be accountable to that in which you reverent. You will then begin to achieve your goals and resolutions, and have success in your life.
Now, instead of making new year resolutions with old habits, note an area from the six changes above where you need to change and then ‘do this’ instead and begin to move toward your goal. Change happens ‘in the doing‘, but making that change last requires accountability to a higher call. Change happens when you do! Happy New Year and good luck.