A good way to move forward in life and achieve purpose and success is to be your own best friend. Being honest with yourself about your fears and insecurities, and on the need to always reach outside of yourself for completeness. Not knowing how to handle it, you mask your true feeling in habits or daily routines of materialism, criticizing yourself and others, using a friend to complete you, religion, more money, a better job, or maybe you escape into alcohol, drugs, more sex, TV, etc. You may not have given this any thought, but many people seek happiness outside of themselves. However, there’s no true contentment unless it first comes from within. Even today’s stresses and demands require a strong, solid sense of self – which is what being your own best friend is all about. Instead of searching outside of yourself, have fun and enjoy yourself, alone. Read the tips below to see how you can become your own best friend .
- Be positive with yourself: Develop the same kind of positive attitude and love toward yourself that you feel toward people whom you treasure as your friends. Give yourself uninhibited encouragement, kindly patience and unconditional support just as you give to others. Forgive yourself when you make mistakes – and reward yourself when you do well.
- Don’t be ruled by emotion: Sometimes giving in to emotions are great when they help keep you from causing damage to yourself or others. But, being ruled by emotions takes a heavy toll; feeling weak… rather than strong or self-pity… rather than self-respect. Whether you are acting out of passion, anger or using knowledge to lead your feelings, it’s up to you as to how to react. Feelings are not independent… we evoke them, and if we’re mature, we choose how to act on them. Make a basic decision and don’t be a slave to you emotions. Just remember, feelings change and don’t last forever.
- Watch how you talk to yourself: Choose to lift yourself up and not put yourself down. How you feel about yourself is up to you, so if you don’t like what you do….change it… if you can’t change it….accept it with love, understanding and compassion. But above all, don’t beat up on yourself emotionally. Pay attention to the things you say to yourself, by keeping your intrapersonal communications, which is called “self-talk”, positive. And even when you make a mistake, don’t call yourself names such as jerk, loser, fool or stupid. You don’t want this type of self-talk to become a habit, which could lead to low self-esteem. The best way to break this negative self-talk is to immediately substitute a positive word for every negative one used. Become a good, encouraging person to have by your side.
- Meet your own expectations: Set reasonable goals for yourself and meet them. This alone will give you good reason to like yourself. This is important because it’ll encourage you to use positive self-talk……. I did a good job… I came through for me… I can count on me. You don’t have to wait on anyone to give you feedback or validation. And, it can be any goal, small or large, maybe you washed the dishes, cleaned the room or balanced your bank statement. The fact that you got the task done is a success.
- Focus on the things you want to achieve: Whether it’s being a great artist, becoming a great dancer, writer or teacher, etc. Anything you want to do…. focus on that. Don’t let the fear of failure nor the fear of being alone or being own your own, stop you from moving ahead. It’s a frightening prospect – until you realize you can give yourself the comfort and sustenance you seek from others. Be your own boss and get things done.
When you become your own best friend, do to yourself what you always wanted in a best friend. You spend a lot of time encouraging others, now spend some time strengthening your relationship with you. All the things you said to others, now say them to you and develop your inner awareness, self-esteem and develop your strong, solid sense of self…now.