Have you ever come across, either a family member, friend, co-worker or even a boss, who’s egotistical. I’m sure we all know some one with big egos. But what causes people to act in such a way? Is it good or bad and how should I consider using my ego? Well, the term ego has many meanings; one’s own self-esteem, an inflated sense of self-worth, or in philosophical terms, one’s self. But while people with big egos seem confident and even intimidating on the outside, they’re most often driven by low self-esteem and a lack of confidence inside. Yes, it’s inward; I, me, mine, etc.
That’s because people are unaware of their ego and don’t know how to use or control it. There are, however, benefits to having an ego, a healthy ego, of course. A healthy ego gives you a sense of individuality, independence, self-esteem and self-respect. These qualities gives us a well-developed, well-defined, and strong healthy ego. But how can you tell if you are, what I call “ego-tripping.” Take a look at these tell-tell signs:
- Are you always the center of attention?
- When you don’t get your way, do you change the rules or call foul?
- Do you often neglect the needs of those around you and think, “me, me, me”?
- Do you often need the constant praise of others to boost your insecure self-image?
- Do you feel good when others around you receive and earn less than you?
- Are you always comparing yourself to others?
- Are you very demanding and self-absorbed?
- Are you defensive?
- Do you like to keep up with “The Joneses”?
- Are you driving your friends and co-workers away?
If any one of the signs, listed above, fits you in any way, then you may be “ego-tripping”. That is, you maybe approaching or interacting with others from an area of neediness or emptiness, and that’s not good. It’s often said that this is the EGO (edging growth out). It’s the unaware and unconscious part of you, and it’s trying to dominate you. What do you need to do to operate from the healthy ego? Separate yourself from it and let your energy flow into the present – the healthy ego. Practice approaching people with a dose of healthy vigor and fullness; always being aware of who you are and what you say and do. Instead of manipulating people with a false sense of yourself, try building relationships with others, being sensitive to the needs of others, and learning to compromise. Sometimes, people with big egos tend to think they have loss if they have to compromise, but that’s not true, compromising is just learning to approach issues with an open mind and by giving space to others -remember, you don’t have to always be the center of attention. Even if you have been operating from the big ego for a while, changes can occur, but it will take consistent practice. Be yourself; be comfortable instead of all the pomp and circumstance all the time.
Presenting an effective and genuine persona to others, on a consistent basis, can create a clear sense of who you are. Being aware and present at all times is attractive and genuine. That type of energy is what attributes to openness and allows interaction with other people. Even your appearance is improved, with a relaxed grace of movement, your eyes – bright and alert and, very likely, a smiling face. So, stop the ego-tripping and get a healthy ego, it’s always a positive attribute for you. Good luck and let me know how things are going for you.